Heavy Boots
“My boots were so heavy that I was glad there was a column underneath us. How could such a lonely person have been living so close to me my whole life? If I had known, I would have gone up to keep him company.” (163)
The heavy boots mentioned throughout the novel is the overwhelming feeling of grief that Oskar has whenever something he finds is incredibly sad or depressing. Oskar is a boy that often feels very deep emotions and he relates these despairing emotions through the phrase "heavy boots" as it is his way of vocalizing his thoughts. Oskar uses the phrase heavy boots in order to formulate his feelings when he cannot put words to his despair. It emphasizes Oskar's inability to communicate with those around him as he must find his own phrases to express himself instead of using words that are common for other people. Oskar does not know what words to use to let people know how he is feeling, but "heavy boots" allows him to communicate his sorrowful emotions.
The heavy boots mentioned throughout the novel is the overwhelming feeling of grief that Oskar has whenever something he finds is incredibly sad or depressing. Oskar is a boy that often feels very deep emotions and he relates these despairing emotions through the phrase "heavy boots" as it is his way of vocalizing his thoughts. Oskar uses the phrase heavy boots in order to formulate his feelings when he cannot put words to his despair. It emphasizes Oskar's inability to communicate with those around him as he must find his own phrases to express himself instead of using words that are common for other people. Oskar does not know what words to use to let people know how he is feeling, but "heavy boots" allows him to communicate his sorrowful emotions.
- Inability to Communicate
“I thought that maybe if she could express herself rather than suffer herself, if she had a way to relieve the burden, she lived for nothing more than living, with nothing to get inspired by, to care for, to call her own…” (119)
The inability for Thomas Schell Sr. to verbally communicate with people creates an inner-havoc. Both he and Oskar's grandmother cannot manage to communicate the suffering that they were put through due to the Dresden bombing, which means the grief they experienced was never released. Instead, they are trapped in their own self pity and wallowing, never moving on from the past because they cannot confront the future. Oskar suffers the same inability to communicate with the people around him, partly due to his autism. Oskar cannot fully express his grief and suffering due to the loss of his father to the people around him, so he bursts into fits of anger instead. Consequently, he feels as if the people around him do not understand him.
The inability for Thomas Schell Sr. to verbally communicate with people creates an inner-havoc. Both he and Oskar's grandmother cannot manage to communicate the suffering that they were put through due to the Dresden bombing, which means the grief they experienced was never released. Instead, they are trapped in their own self pity and wallowing, never moving on from the past because they cannot confront the future. Oskar suffers the same inability to communicate with the people around him, partly due to his autism. Oskar cannot fully express his grief and suffering due to the loss of his father to the people around him, so he bursts into fits of anger instead. Consequently, he feels as if the people around him do not understand him.
importance of family
“I like to see people reunited, maybe that’s a silly thing, but what can I say, I like to see people run into each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone…” [109]
It is evident that to Thomas Schell Sr., family is incredibly important. The family that he could have had is always on his mind, and although he abandoned Oskar's grandmother, he comes back for his son and his grandson. The man's thoughts and actions revolve around the death of his family. He makes an effort to connect with the grandson he has never met and even sort of mend his relationship with Oskar's grandmother in the end. Family is also important to Oskar. He loves his family dearly, which is why he sinks into a great depression when his father dies. This is also why Oskar becomes so irritated when he thinks his mother is not mourning, believing that the importance of family was not as great in her as in him. What he does not know, however, is that his mother had been attending self-help groups to help her deal with her loss.
It is evident that to Thomas Schell Sr., family is incredibly important. The family that he could have had is always on his mind, and although he abandoned Oskar's grandmother, he comes back for his son and his grandson. The man's thoughts and actions revolve around the death of his family. He makes an effort to connect with the grandson he has never met and even sort of mend his relationship with Oskar's grandmother in the end. Family is also important to Oskar. He loves his family dearly, which is why he sinks into a great depression when his father dies. This is also why Oskar becomes so irritated when he thinks his mother is not mourning, believing that the importance of family was not as great in her as in him. What he does not know, however, is that his mother had been attending self-help groups to help her deal with her loss.
Self-Destruction
“I thought, it’s a shame that we have to live, but it’s a tragedy that we get to live only one life, because if I’d had two lives, I would have spent one of them with her.” (133)
“I can’t live, I’ve tried and I can’t." (135)
Oskar's grandfather admits, should he have had another life, he would have spent it with Oskar's grandmother.
Thomas Schell Sr. refuses to move on from his past and live the life that is ahead of him because he is still grieving the loss of his first girlfriend, Oskar's grandmother's sister. He is offered the chance of starting over when he comes to America, meets Oskar's grandmother, and begins a "relationship" with her, a relationship which gives him a son. However, he abandons all these present opportunities because he feels as though he cannot pursue his future. Thomas Schell Sr. also loses his inability to speak due to the amount of stress that he has encountered in his life, a symbol for how pent up emotions can cause people to lose the ability to express how they feel. The events of Thomas Schell Sr.'s past haunts him and he will not let go of the love he felt for Anna, Oskar's grandmother's sister who was pregnant with Thomas' child before she died in the Dresden bombing. Therefore, Thomas Schell Sr. destroys not only his chance for a better future and but also his relationship with his family as he runs away from the idea of adapting to situations that involve heavy emotional participation.
“I can’t live, I’ve tried and I can’t." (135)
Oskar's grandfather admits, should he have had another life, he would have spent it with Oskar's grandmother.
Thomas Schell Sr. refuses to move on from his past and live the life that is ahead of him because he is still grieving the loss of his first girlfriend, Oskar's grandmother's sister. He is offered the chance of starting over when he comes to America, meets Oskar's grandmother, and begins a "relationship" with her, a relationship which gives him a son. However, he abandons all these present opportunities because he feels as though he cannot pursue his future. Thomas Schell Sr. also loses his inability to speak due to the amount of stress that he has encountered in his life, a symbol for how pent up emotions can cause people to lose the ability to express how they feel. The events of Thomas Schell Sr.'s past haunts him and he will not let go of the love he felt for Anna, Oskar's grandmother's sister who was pregnant with Thomas' child before she died in the Dresden bombing. Therefore, Thomas Schell Sr. destroys not only his chance for a better future and but also his relationship with his family as he runs away from the idea of adapting to situations that involve heavy emotional participation.
Dealing with The Loss of a Loved One
“We laughed and laughed, together and separately, out loud and silently, we were determined to ignore whatever needed to be ignored, to build a new world from nothing if nothing in our world could be salvaged, it was one of the best days of my life, a day during which I lived my life and didn’t think about my life at all.” (28)
“No matter how much I feel, I’m not going to let it out. If I have to cry, I’m gonna cry on the inside. If I have to bleed, I’ll bruise. If my heart starts going crazy, I’m not gonna tell everyone in the world about it. It doesn’t help anything. It just makes everyone’s life worse….” (201)
Everyone has a different way in dealing with the loss of a loved one. In the novel, each character has their own coping methods, a way to move on with their life (or simply deal with the idea of life) when someone they love dies. Oskar must come to terms not only with his father's death, but the fact that his mother is coping with his father's dead differently than how is. Oskar has taken to expressing his grief internally even though he has passionate outbursts about his father and sometimes take out his resentment of his father's death on those around him. He begins this his lock and key journey as a sort of coping mechanism, a way to bring himself closer to his father but also move on from the death. He wants to imagine that his father left him a scavenger hunt to stay connected. Oskar's grandmother and grandfather, however, deal with the death of their whole families by trying to ignore the past and living in a world filled with "nothing". His grandfather will not allow himself to live life while Oskar's grandmother tries her best to live life with what is handed to her.
“No matter how much I feel, I’m not going to let it out. If I have to cry, I’m gonna cry on the inside. If I have to bleed, I’ll bruise. If my heart starts going crazy, I’m not gonna tell everyone in the world about it. It doesn’t help anything. It just makes everyone’s life worse….” (201)
Everyone has a different way in dealing with the loss of a loved one. In the novel, each character has their own coping methods, a way to move on with their life (or simply deal with the idea of life) when someone they love dies. Oskar must come to terms not only with his father's death, but the fact that his mother is coping with his father's dead differently than how is. Oskar has taken to expressing his grief internally even though he has passionate outbursts about his father and sometimes take out his resentment of his father's death on those around him. He begins this his lock and key journey as a sort of coping mechanism, a way to bring himself closer to his father but also move on from the death. He wants to imagine that his father left him a scavenger hunt to stay connected. Oskar's grandmother and grandfather, however, deal with the death of their whole families by trying to ignore the past and living in a world filled with "nothing". His grandfather will not allow himself to live life while Oskar's grandmother tries her best to live life with what is handed to her.
Sources:
Foer, Jonathan Safran. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Boston, MA: Mariner, 2005. Print.
Foer, Jonathan Safran. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Boston, MA: Mariner, 2005. Print.